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Welcome! We’re so happy you’re here. No need to hide your excitement. We get it.

The Dirt Lot has been in the works for a long time, and we’d be lying if we said we haven’t experienced a nocturnal emission or two dreaming of the day it’d be ready to launch. 

                                                                                                                                                          

Who are you?

We are twisted, tasteless, manic, attention-addicted storytellers that are more often than not, as drunk as that dog up there (We call him Heavy B). Suffering from severe delusions of grandeur, we are passionate people with swollen hearts that desperately don't want to grow up, and are not afraid to admit we've tried to force a fart and accidentally shit our pants more than once since entering adulthood.

What's with the name? Why 'the Dirt Lot'?

The Dirt Lot is a special place in the American West, and one of the few spots that’s ever felt like home to us. A lawless dustbowl, where controlled chaos rules the day. It's a place where a general disdain and disregard for rules, regulations and established standards of civility is the modus operandi, and the last bastion of a do-as-you-wish-not-as-you're-told counterculture lives in perpetuity. This website is an homage and tribute to that special place, and a home for certain thoughts, words, sentiments and satire which might not be welcome elsewhere, just like the derelicts that inhabit the real-life Dirt Lot.

Why are you here?

We can't find anybody to pay us and publish our shit. We also want to make you laugh, make you think, make you question your existence and, hopefully, make you reconsider that office job and miserable spouse. Instead of pumping you full of contrived political takes, finger-pointing and faux intellectualism (like every journalist and most people you follow on social media) we hope to inspire you to love more deeply, and show you how important it is to find people that make you smile; to move you to take a chance, to push you to embrace risk, and to convince you to stop worrying about the world and get out into it. We intend to tell stories, offer commentary, and share observations that cause the head to nod, the heart to thump, the jaw to drop, the eyes to water, and the loins to swell (or moisten. We are very gender inclusive here at The Dirt Lot. Please don't cancel us). 

What makes

you think

you can do this?

As we sit here this very moment, we’re full of stories and ideas dying to see the light of day. But, we’ve spent many years questioning our role in this world and the value of our words. Did we really have anything to say or offer? Why should we deserve the chance to be creative and do something different? What on Earth could we possibly write that might make others think or feel or giggle? If we're being honest with ourselves, aren't we a bit of a boorish attention-whore as it is? Through all that dread, The Dirt Lot lived like a dormant egg inside our mind, but we were too scared to fertilize it.

 

Then, some friends, the sort of people whose spirit is at the core of this endeavor, assured us we were inherently good, we were funny, and that we were well-endowed— intellectually, morally, emotionally, and physically. We hope you think so too, and can come to believe those things about yourself as well. Except for the physical part. Nothing we write here can help you with that. God is stingy with the gifts he gives, some of us are more blessed than others, and that's just the way it goes. Sorry.

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